India, What the Heck?

As countries like India and China rise in their global status and economic power, I wonder if the increased visibility will force them to clean up their act and see that their children are protected.

This headline last week was a harsh reminder of what goes on…

“The father of Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali, 9, is accused of trying to sell his daughter for $300,000 to a sheik.”

Although I read this in a Hollywood gossip magazine — and many might question the accuracy of the reporting — I did appreciate that a pop magazine brought attention to the fact that the selling of daughters is not an uncommon practice in India.

Girls are trafficked in India for sexual exploitation, domestic labor, drug peddling, begging, adoption and marriage. Some say the price of the girl depends on the color of her eyes and her skin, and a virgin girl goes for a lot higher price. It can seem like a world away, but for some, it is quite close.

Last weekend in the New York Times Magazine column The Ethicist a reader submitted a query about whether he should give money, food or neither to the beggar children in India on his upcoming trip. The reader was concerned that exploitative adults might take the money.

If you saw the film Slumdog Millionaire then you probably remember the child trafficker who tricked the children into thinking they were going to get a promotion. When they arrived for their good news, the surprise turned out to be a cupful of acid poured into the child’s eyes to purposefully blind him or her to make their begging more poignant and profitable.

Records show that maiming a child is just another scam put on by these child overlords to get more money into their pockets.

I have seen these children. They have come up to me with their white milky eyes on the streets of Delhi and have knocked their stumps on my taxi window as I sat devastated staring back at them. It is all quite tragic to think about.

So why am I writing and telling about all of these horrifying things?

I write about this because I feel that the more it is reported and the more we talk about it, the more accountable the countries responsible for it become.

I am by no means saying that our own country, the US, is a grand model for human rights. I’m not wagging my finger. But in my opinion there is a level of global inhumanity that has been going on for far too long and perhaps we have reached a tipping point.

Admittedly, I may just be naïve to think that talking about issues can solve them. But in my heart of hearts I do believe this. With transparency, comes accountability, comes responsibility, comes change.

Your thoughts?

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Tabby Biddle is a writer and editor specializing in helping women entrepreneurs and emerging authors get their message out. Additionally she is the founder of Lotus Blossom Style, a yoga lifestyle company created to support women in their personal transformation. She lives in Santa Monica, CA.

India: A Land of Contradictions

photo by Lee Schneider

I wrote a few blogs ago about how the country of India is referred to by many as “Mother India.” A dinner conversation a few nights ago with my friend Lotta however made me reflect and question this warm reference to India.

Lotta said, “For a country that desecrates the land and treats women as second class citizens, I am not sure how it has earned that title.” This struck a chord because on my recent trip to India, my husband (still need to legalize that in California!) said something very similar.

So, as I once considered India my role model in many ways – for its dedication to spirituality, its long history with yoga, and for its unexpected delights, I am now looking at it with a wider lens and seeing not only the beauty, but also, “the beast.”

Violence against women in India is frighteningly frequent. Many point to its roots in the male dominated socio-economic, legal and political order in India. In some parts of India, women are actually considered “private property” to be looked after by a certain family, community or caste.

I was stunned to learn about what is called “bride burning.” This is a form of domestic abuse often disguised as an accident or suicide. Women are burned to death over wealth (or rather…lack of wealth). Since the dowry system is well in place in India, husbands who think their dowry is too low actually kill their wives. I read recently that because of this an estimated 6000 women are murdered each year by their husbands – and that in fact the numbers are probably much higher because many cases go unreported! In rural areas, girl killings are prevalent because girls are considered second rate to boys. I heard that when children are ill, the fathers prefer to pay for their sons’ treatment over their daughters, so that more girls die. Adding to these excruciating realities, abortion of yet-to-be-born baby girls is surprisingly common.

As I was taking the train from Delhi up to Rishikesh in the north, I noticed an outstanding number of men on the streets, in the villages and generally out and about and a remarkably small number of women. In fact, there was a period of time when I didn’t see ANY women. I learned later that women in fact are not free to move about in the villages of the north and also experience severe restriction in the south. They must ask permission to go to town or visit friends. One report I read said that 85% percent of the women, except in larger towns, do not have any freedom to go about in public as they wish.

photo by Lee Schneider

In looking further at the “beastly” aspects of India, by one estimate, according to The Economist, only 13% of the sewage India’s 1.1 billion people produce is treated. In other words, India’s sanitation is terrible! There is garbage strewn about everywhere, cow dung lining the streets, and major air pollution. It is this poor sanitation that causes water-borne diseases that are a big reason why India’s children are so malnourished. According to studies, India has 60 million malnourished children, which is 40% of the world’s total!

I don’t mean to trash on India (because it certainly doesn’t need that!), but I am in favor of getting out the information and reality of what is happening there. I admire India in many ways – for its colorful life energy, for the smiles of those living with the minimum that life can provide, for its great gift of yoga that has been passed on for thousands of years, and for its ability to make a number of things function quite well with such an enormous population. I do however believe that India can and should do MUCH MORE for its citizens.

I look to myself now and wonder “what can I do?” …”How can I help life be a little better for my global sisters and brothers over there?”

How about you? Are there any countries (US included of course) that you feel passionately about and wonder what you can do to help life there become a little more humane for its people? Have you done something? Please share your story!

The Husband Test

I missed writing the blog last week! This was not due to any laziness or any other lame reason, but rather due to the fact that I was laid up in bed with what some call “Delhi Belly.” In other words, I was sick in my Indian bed with a bacterial infection of the intestine.

Yes, I fell ill in my beloved India. On my fourth day there after sipping some questionable masala chai at a local Rishikesh hangout, I made a rush exit back to my hotel bathroom. I had been so proud of myself from times past that I had never gotten sick in India. I chalked it up to my strong intention of: “I’m not getting sick in India!” This time I must have been resting on my laurels because I forgot to set that same intention. Yikes! That was not good planning.

A trip that was meant to be a sacred and romantic trip with my husband-to-be turned more into what he and I now laughingly refer to as “the husband test.” He was surely put to the test as I writhed in pain, cried in fear, felt my temperature rise higher and higher and generally just lost it. He was calm, level-headed, wise, compassionate, loving and nurturing. He sought out the medical care I needed and watched over me every step of the way. He for sure passed the test – and in a way beyond what I could have ever imagined.

We began to look at the figures of belly illnesses in India and found out that 1,000 Indian children die of diarrhoeal sickness EVERY DAY. According to The Economist, four miles downstream from where the Ganges River enters the sacred city of Varanasi where 60,000 people bathe and wash their clothing, the concentration of faecal coliform bacteria is 3,000 times more than is considered safe for bathing!  Additionally we learned that an estimated 700 million Indians (out of its 1.1 billion citizens) have no access to a proper toilet!! Suffice it to say that India, by Western standards, is very dirty.

So, as I lay there in my bed in an unheated room with grand cramps and a whipping wind knocking something very loud and thumping around on our rooftop, I cried out, “remind me next time I say I want to come to India, not to come!”

It is ten days later and I have just returned to the US. I am slightly tired, but am recovering nicely from my illness and feel for the most part – healthy. Once I was able to sit up, stand and walk, our last couple of days in India were filled with great surprises, fun and adventure – enough to leave India with a good feeling.

I wonder now…will this bout of bacterial illness really stop me from traveling to India, and for that matter, to other developing countries? I have certainly gotten sick in other developing countries before and later found my way back. I also wonder…does it really make a difference if I set a clear intention of not getting sick?…and do these bouts of getting sick have a deeper purpose –  in this case – “the husband test?”

What about you? Have you had some traveler-getting-sick experiences and how have they affected you?

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Tabby Biddle is a writer and editor specializing in helping women entrepreneurs and emerging authors get their message out. Additionally she is the founder of Lotus Blossom Style, a yoga lifestyle company created to support women in their personal transformation. She lives in Santa Monica, CA.

A Changing Lens: Christmas in India

Photo by Lee Schneider

I took a foot bath in the holy Ganges River today — Christmas Day 2008! Just a few days before – what looked like could possibly be an unsatisfying and slightly depressing Christmas – turned into a day filled with gifts.

I arrived in India three days ago to find an India that felt tough, unclean and unnerving. I have been to India two times before, but this time for some reason India felt dirtier, noisier and more crowded. This time around I was bringing my fiance and wanted to show him an India that was sacred, special and beautiful. Unfortunately within our first couple of days we were not encountering much of that.

Battened down in our hotel on the second day we decided we needed to find a way to turn our trip around. We traveled all this way and knew our trip had the potential of much more. Having turned to some particular goddesses over the past year for assistance, guidance and inspiration, I decided to say a prayer to Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess of beauty and prosperity. I asked her for assistance to help us see beauty in the little things — to see beauty within the clutter and beyond the cow dung.

On the same day as my prayer we found a new room in a hotel well within our price range with a gorgeous view of the Ganges. Hindu chants lofted up to the balcony giving us a feeling of having our own movie soundtrack to our India experience. Right next door we met a wonderfully talented and distinguished music teacher who could teach me how to play traditional Indian music on the harmonium. And across from our new locale, we found a clean, warm and peaceful yoga studio sitting practically on top of the sacred Ganges. This was good!

So I ask myself, was it my prayer to Lakshmi that inspired all of these good things to happen? Is there a goddess who can really make beautiful things appear in one’s life? Or was it simply my intention and willingness to shift my lens to see beauty?  Ahhhhh…and to top it off of our hotel brought us a beautiful bouquet of flowers to wish us a merry christmas.

When you are faced with a situation that is less than desirable what do you do? How do you handle difficulty?

Mother India

I am packing for my trip to India! I am leaving in a few days. This is not just any ordinary trip. This is a trip to get married!

My fiancé and I met two years ago on a New Year’s yoga retreat here in California. We felt it only appropriate to have our special wedding day this New Year’s in yoga’s birthplace, India.

I have been a big fan of India for many years. I spent six months there a decade ago and just when I thought it was a trip of a lifetime and would be many years before I returned, I ended up there two years later with my best friend at the turn of the millennium.  Here I am, now eight years later, packing my wedding dress for my return to the beautiful motherland of India.

I call India “Mother India” (as I think many people do) because it has the nurturing aspects of a mom. It cradles, it hugs and smiles with deep love. On the other side it can present challenging realities of the world that we have to find a way to cope with.

I have heard many people say that they are fascinated with India, but are too scared to go. Scared of the poverty, scared of the possibility of getting sick, and scared of the unknown. Well, I have to agree that India is not for the faint of heart. What it is however is a place for discovery, unfolding and magic.

I look forward to sharing some of the magic with you in these coming weeks!

Transformational Travel

The month of December is when some people start thinking about all that has happened over the past twelve months and begin to make plans for how they want to spend their time in the coming year. For those interested in travel, but no longer content with South Beach or Vail, there is another option available.

A number of years ago, I took that option myself. I wanted a trip that was based on personal growth and discovery. Today this is called “Sacred Travel,” but back then it was about taking my savings and heading out with a backpack. I first went to Nepal and trekked in the Himalayas. It was there that I encountered yoga in a spiritual form and began the study and practice of it. I then went to Thailand to learn about Buddhism and sat for two 10-day silent meditation retreats. It was there that I began to see my mind in a way that I never had before! I traveled around Laos, Vietnam, and Indonesia learning to live in the moment and listen closely to my intuition. So taken by yoga and Buddhism, the following year I went to India to study more yoga and begin the study of Tibetan Buddhism.

Today sacred travel is a growing niche of the travel market. It is a kind of travel that is not just recreational, but “re-creational,” where the focus is on personal growth and sacred experiences. It involves visiting “spiritual hotspots” where the traveler is able to tap into ancient cultures and philosophies through meditation, ritual, prayer and ceremony. In many cases, the traveler finds they are changed forever – in a good way. ☺

Karen Tate, author, lecturer and sacred tour director, leads trips specifically to sacred sites of the Goddess. These are sites around the world where the Goddess was prominent in the past and in many cases is
prominent today. Shiva Rea, internationally renowned yoga teacher and retreat leader, leads what she calls “pilgrimages” to places such as Bali, India, and Greece where “awakening shakti” is the intention. Lisa Black, another renowned yoga teacher and very dear friend of mine, leads an annual winter retreat in Mexico at Maya Tulum where the intention is to experience a “deeper sense of total health and well-being and leave more open, energized and inspired for life!”

If you are thinking of a special trip for the new year, what are you looking for? How will you renew yourself and inspire yourself for 2009? Will you take a trip of transformation?