At Last!

I have been watching the Democratic National Convention in Denver on television for the past four nights and have found myself completely renewed and excited about politics in America. The last time I was this excited was in 1992 when I was working for the Women’s Campaign Fund in Washington D.C. helping more women to get elected into office and supporting Bill Clinton into Presidency. At that time – Washington, and in effect our country — was a place of hope and possibility. Sixteen years later I feel we are at that doorstep once again.

Although I found myself getting teary in many parts of Michelle’s, Hillary’s, Bill’s, Joe’s and Barack’s speeches, in all honesty the most exciting part for me – the one where I felt most moved by an exhilarating feeling of “AT LAST!” — is when each speaker talked about finally bringing our country to a point where women receive equal pay!

As a preschool teacher for many years, I was in a job that was heavily represented by women who were underpaid. As a full-time employee in a New York school renowned for its early childhood education, I was making just over $20,000 at the start in 1999 and topped out at just under $30,000. On this salary I was trying to live in New York City as a single woman and pay back graduate school loans to a private college that tallied toward $60,000. I chose that school because it ranks among the top in early childhood education. I wanted the best education to help me be the best teacher.

The school, Bank Street College of Education, gave me an outstanding education – but unfortunately I did not last in the preschool classroom. I wanted the best for the children, but also wanted the best for myself. I wanted a life where I did not have to worry about how I was going to pay my rent, pay my bills, pay for the continuing education that I knew as an individual committed to personal growth would be wanting as time moved on.

I left my job as a preschool teacher just one year ago and started my own company, Lotus Blossom Style. Starting this company was my way to continue to give voice to the messages that I put out in the classroom — peace, collaboration, creative expression, and a rightful respect for every individual – and at least have a fighting chance as an entrepreneur (in many ways the American Dream) to move beyond the underpaid status of an early childhood educator.

Just over a year ago, right before I started the company, it dawned on me that maybe we have been in a patriarchal paradigm for too long and that this paradigm was what was throwing ourselves, our environment, our country and our world out of balance. I wondered if war could be decreased if we started to identify and give more time, space, and money to issues that have traditionally been considered more the feminine domain – healthcare, education and family values. I thought about what would happen if more and more women were in power and leadership positions and we turned to a time where women and men were respected and rewarded equally in the workplace. What would this look like?

Michelle, Hillary, Joe, Bill and Barack have restarted my clock of hope. I believe in their ability to walk us forward as leaders into a time where women and men can renew their self-respect and respect for one other as we rebuild our country in partnership, collaboration and unity.

Although Hillary, who was and still is a sign of hope and inspiration for many women, is not our Presidential Candidate – can we walk forward believing that we are at the dawn of a new era where many good possibilities are waiting for us?

Poetry of the Goddess

On Tuesday morning I was sitting down by the ocean — meditating and doing a little yoga practice. As I looked up from a stretch, I noticed a photographer and two yoga gals posing about 10 yards off to my left. Interested in all things yoga, I wondered about their photo shoot and what it was for.

When I finished with my practice I walked over toward the threesome to check things out. As I approached I realized that I actually knew one of the gals. Marlize, a wonderful yoga teacher and South African native, was dressed in a sunny yellow top and ocean blue pants – perfectly chosen for a beach photo shoot. After a nice greeting hug, Marlize introduced me to her yogini cousin-in-law, Suzanne, and the photographer — her husband, Robert Sturman, whose work hangs in one of my favorite yoga studios in town, Exhale Center for Sacred Movement on Main Street in Venice.

Robert told me that he was shooting for his upcoming exhibition called ‘Poetry of the Gods’. Since he was taking pictures of two vibrantly beautiful women, I blurted out, “How about ‘Poetry of the Goddesses’?” Robert smiled and said that he is including both Gods and Goddesses within ‘Poetry of the Gods’ – all inclusive. He explained to me that during his studies at U of C, Santa Cruz, he was around a lot of feminists and when referring to ‘God’ he used to use “He/She” but that eventually (I think when he got out of school) some people questioned this or didn’t understand it. To him ‘God’ did not mean one or the other.

Robert said that he was open to ideas and wanted to find a way to communicate his work in a way that would represent both the male and female within the term ‘God’.

Our conversation reminded me of some of the recent comments in response to my blog, Is there a Feminine Face of God? Blog commenter Greg said, “It used to bother me to always hear ‘He’ in reference to God…when somewhere in my conscious/subconscious, I have suspected that ‘he’ is too limiting, in that respect ‘she’ would be too, no? I like to think of God as the Universe, Energy, and Light…ALL of everything…so no gender really seems to be ‘right’. GOD is within us and also all around us….”

Blog commenter Lydia said, “God is love, which is both verb and noun so it’s being and doing – this way of conceiving the idea of God helps me to get away from the gender-identification of certain human qualities as masculine or feminine, which can lead to imbalances either way, and an oversimplification of certain qualities.”

While I wholeheartedly agree with Lydia and Greg that Universal Energy is all inclusive – all genders and no genders at the same time – I still find myself caught up in feeling a very male and fatherly kind of energy when I hear the word ‘God’ and a very feminine, earthy, beautiful and other-worldly energy when I hear the word ‘Goddess’. I want to be able to see myself in the image of the divine, and since I am a very much a female in this lifetime, the more male connotated term ‘God’ just isn’t working for me. Perhaps I need to fully embrace and understand ‘Goddess’ before I can ascend to a real experience of ALL IS ONE.

Inspired by Robert’s upcoming photo exhibition, I decided to journey through a poem

She, He, What Matter?

She dances by the light of the fire
He dances by the dark of the night
She spins with the cycles of the creation
He spins with the force of the mind

Moonlight
Starlight
Ocean Goddess
Father God

She, he – he, she?
What matter?
Light, dark – dark, light?
What matter?

The dance of the divine souls brings us into our wholeness

Subtle, yet completely clear

The dance releases us from past pain, past hurt
Embrace at last
Surrender at last
Love at last

Sincerely,

Tabby

The Philadelphia Goddess Story

Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn, Jimmy Stewart

The other night I re-watched “The Philadelphia Story” starring Katharine Hepburn, Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart… and WOW, what a cast! … and I had no idea about the major subplot on GODDESSES!

I watched this film for the first time 15 years ago and as I was not into goddesses then, had no memory of the references. This time, since I was absolutely aware of the references, I counted 11 uses of the word “goddess!” It just goes to show that you can watch a film over and over and take in new lessons each time.

This time the lesson seemed to be about reflecting on the different interpretations of the term “goddess.”

The film gives different images and viewpoints of how people and how society at that time interpreted the word “goddess.” To some, goddesses were up on a pedestal, unapproachable and to be admired from afar. To others they were cold, chaste or impersonal…and to some they were even to be feared and considered wrathful.

When I asked a group of girlfriends what “goddess” means to them, one friend said, “Goddess sounds like ‘diva’ to me. I know that’s not what it means, but I can’t help it, that’s where my head goes. I don’t consider myself a Goddess ‘cause of the diva connection.”

Another friend who had a more positive association said, “Goddess means to me confidence, beauty, strength, being centered, rising to greatness, and JOY!”

A third friend reflected, “Being a goddess means honoring myself and my qualities…and spoiling myself a little.”

As I watched “The Philadelphia Story” side by side with my fiancée, who often calls me a Goddess, I reflected on what it means to me. For me, I think of it as a term of endearment and one that reflects a combination of respect, love, admiration, and trust in all of my qualities…strengths and vulnerabilities.

What does the term Goddess mean to you?

Zen of the Stiletto

On Wednesday night I was sitting talking with my friend Michelle at our friend Steve’s monthly Yoga Potluck in his gorgeous Green Home in Santa Monica. The teacher Ted had just given us an hour and a half power calming yoga class and now we were onto the eating and socializing portion of the evening. The topic of our conversation was “shoes.”

Now you might wonder why we would be talking about shoes after a relaxing yoga class where one definitely doesn’t wear shoes. But that’s really the point. As a yoga student and teacher for many years, I have spent so much time being barefoot that I have been feeling a little bit out of it since I don’t know how to wear high heels! (Yes, I am living in the environs of Hollywood now so this subject does come up.)

The truth is – I CAN’T WEAR HIGH HEELS! I get back pain, my ankles feel like they are going to twist and sprain, and my entire foundation feels extremely unstable and like I am going to crash down at any moment. From yoga I know that if your foundation is weak, the rest of the posture is going to have a hard time finding strength and the practitioner will definitely have a hard time opening up. A great life metaphor!

Knowing that wearing heels causes me pain, instability and discomfort, why would I ever want to wear them and why do I even care?

Michelle, who was out visiting me from New York, also expressed a curiosity about wearing heels, but she as well has issues with them. “I feel like I wouldn’t be able to do everything I need to do. I walk a lot and I rush around too much for them,” she said. And then there was an unfolding gleam in Michelle’s eyes and she seemed to be in the midst of an ‘AHA’ moment! “Maybe that is just it,” she said. “You can’t rush around in them. Maybe they get you to slow down. Maybe there is something zen to them!”

We got a big laugh from this and then our friend Mark chimed into the conversation. He told us about a woman from his work who he says, “always wears stilettos.” “She is a very good looking gal, but when she stands up and tries to walk, she can barely move. It is painful to watch her! Everything that she spent on looking beautiful just goes right out the door when she gets up from that desk.”

This was so sad for me to hear about this woman not being able to walk and I doubted that she was wearing her stilettos for zen reasons (although you never know). Michelle seemed like she might be onto something with her epiphany, but I still wonder these things:

1. Why as women are some of us fascinated with high heels/stilettos?

2. Are they empowering? And if so, why? (make us feel taller, sexier, enhance certain aspects of ourselves that we really like?)

3. Are they disempowering (make us unstable, weak, not steady, uncomfortable, and objects to be admired but not comfy?)

4. Why can some women wear stilettos and others not?

5. Are men really attracted to women wearing heels/stilettos. And if yes, why?

6. What would life be like if NO ONE wore stilettos?

To get some of my questions answered I am going to be a guest on the Fashion 411 radio show this Friday hosted by celeb stylist, Barbra Horowitz, and get a chance to dialogue with Tina Aldatz Norris, the creator and president of the super successful business, Foot Petals. Tina created Foot Petals to help those who have a love/hate relationship with sexy shoes! If this is you, check it out!

************************************************************************

Tabby Biddle is a writer and editor specializing in helping women entrepreneurs and emerging authors get their message out. Additionally she is the founder of Lotus Blossom Style, a yoga lifestyle company created to support women in their personal transformation. She lives in Santa Monica, CA.

Is there a Feminine Face of God?

Have you ever questioned the image of God as male?

For most of my life I never did.

Over the past year I started to wonder how always hearing “he” and “him” in reference to God creates the idea that some, who are male, are more like God, and those who are “she” and “her” are less like God.

Now I know for some who are reading this you might want to stop right here or you are super skeptical of what I am saying. I get that. And others, you may be open to listening and maybe have had similar wonderings. So I will continue…

Recently I attended a slide show presentation about Goddess artifacts from around the world. The presentation was given by Karen Tate, author, speaker, scholar, and radio show host, who specializes in the awakening to the Divine Feminine, or as she terms it “the feminine face of God.” Karen has written a book, Sacred Places of Goddess: 108 Destinations, which takes both the armchair traveler and the get-up-and-go traveler around the world to learn about the ancient sites that carry the archaeological, mythological and spiritual history of the Goddess.

What I found so impacting from her presentation and her book is the breadth of Goddess artifacts around the world that give clear evidence to the longtime role of the Goddess before Judaism, Christianity, and Islam were established. In fact, it is evidenced that for nearly 30,000 years the Goddess represented the supreme deity. For me, seeing these ancient goddess images and artifacts carries great meaning today.

Since many of us never question the image of God as a male (at least I didn’t for most of my life), I wonder how this gender bias has influenced women’s self-image and status in the world. In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, Karen poses the question so well, “If you call God a ‘he’ and ‘him’ all the time, then how can women feel divinity inside themselves when they know they are not a he?”

And for me, I question, “Could both women and men be taking this message in on a subconscious level and creating a lower self-image for women and impression that female power can never be fully legitimate?” If this is the case, I believe there is a shift happening.

In the last blog I talked about traditional feminine values such as compassion, relationship, tenderness, and unconditional love coming to play a respected role on the world stage which some are attributing to the re-awakening of the Divine Feminine. I wanted to clarify that I am not suggesting that if all women were in power and men were out of power and leadership positions that this would be the solution to creating a greater world. This would, I believe, lop-side our world culture once again!

What I am actually suggesting is that as feminine values (or what have been traditionally known as feminine) are gaining respect and appreciation, women may be able to appreciate and respect themselves in greater depth and men may be able to appreciate the feminine aspects of themselves that may never have been honored. I believe that as we work toward more of a balance between the feminine and masculine, there may be a greater way to live that we have not seen yet!

Have you ever considered what life would look like with female and male power in balance?

************************************************************************

Tabby Biddle is a writer and editor specializing in helping women entrepreneurs and emerging authors get their message out. Additionally she is the founder of Lotus Blossom Style, a yoga lifestyle company created to support women in their personal transformation. She lives in Santa Monica, CA.